As I mentally distance myself more and more from the toxic marriage and consciously project the reality of ending it, I explore the topic of my relationship to music sans Chi. (more…)
April 28, 2016
Music and Me? Now What?
Posted by Brenda K under Panache Stuff, Rants | Tags: artistic collaborations, artists and poverty, burnout, creating vs. performing, musicians and drug addiction, toxic relationships |Leave a Comment
November 4, 2015
A Crossroads
Posted by Brenda K under daily happenings, Living With Mental Illness, Rants | Tags: abusive relationships, artists and poverty, bad marriages, domestic violence, fatigue, musicians and drug addiction |Leave a Comment
I finally “get it”… (more…)
September 14, 2015
The Big Game-Changer
Posted by Brenda K under daily happenings | Tags: artists and poverty, bad marriages, domestic violence, hope betrayed, jobs for aging musicians |[4] Comments
After a decade of no viable employment for Chi and I/we were getting dangerously close to the edge of ending up homeless and bankrupt, something sustainable finally came up! (more…)
January 7, 2015
So It’s not “Just Me”…
Posted by Brenda K under daily happenings, Health and Wellness | Tags: artists and poverty, bad marriages, cognitive impairment, exploitation, life as a professional musician, shitty jobs, toxic relationships, workplace abuse |Leave a Comment
So financial poverty really does make you stupid. Who knew? And more odd bits of recovered personal history.
It’s really not my imagination. According to this article: http://www.theatlanticcities.com/jobs-and-economy/2013/08/how-poverty-taxes-brain/6716/
FTA: “In a series of experiments run by researchers at Princeton, Harvard, and the University of Warwick, low-income people who were primed to think about financial problems performed poorly on a series of cognition tests, saddled with a mental load that was the equivalent of losing an entire night’s sleep. Put another way, the condition of poverty imposed a mental burden akin to losing 13 IQ points, or comparable to the cognitive difference that’s been observed between chronic alcoholics and normal adults.”
January 7, 2015
Why the Phrase “We Value Creativity” Pisses Me Off
Posted by Brenda K under Living With Mental Illness, Panache Stuff, Rants | Tags: artistic careers, artists and poverty, creative people, musicians and drug addiction, musicians and mental illness |Leave a Comment
A lot of things have been pissing me off lately. This is one more…. (more…)
January 7, 2015
Summer 2013
Posted by Brenda K under Panache Stuff, The "Victory Speech" Sessions | Tags: artists and poverty, bad marriages, creative collaborations, home recording studios, independent music projects, original instrumental music |1 Comment
After our run of gigs during May – June finally wound down, I rolled up my sleeves and had a go at trying to set the Salvation rig that our former producer Steven had given me back up so I could begin the process of trying to learn how to do music production/audio engineering on my own since Chi sacked Steven. What with all the new music Chi has been composing lately, I couldn’t just leave that lying on the ground and throw him out. Since we were so close to being able to do real recordings at home, that became my mission over the summer. (more…)
April 26, 2014
Various Disruptions and More Progress
Posted by Brenda K under daily happenings, Panache Stuff | Tags: artists and poverty, bad marriages, independent music projects, musicians and mental illness |1 Comment
Following Chi’s dismissal of our erstwhile producer Steven and decision to start working with another producer/musician instead, various things came up that disrupted a variety of processes that were underway. (more…)
April 26, 2014
The Reason Why New Content Seldom Makes It to the Panache Orchestra Web Presence (and more reasons why we’re not performing anymore)
Posted by Brenda K under Living With Mental Illness, Panache Stuff, Rants | Tags: artistic conflicts, artists and poverty, bands and task distribution, digital media, independent artists and content creation, live performance, original music projects |1 Comment
People may wonder why despite our considerable existing and ongoing creative output there is very little new content uploaded to the Panache Orchestra websites on anything resembling a frequent basis. Why might this be? (more…)
La Vie avec Panache 