This is “Case Zero” in which I began to enforce the new boundaries I am building. Chi was now getting zapped as if running into electric fencing where there had been nothing before, as I got more and more committed to clearly setting my intentions and asserting my newly-developing boundaries.  (more…)

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The strong, stable creative phase that Chi had been in since around May 2013 was still ongoing, and this put me in the untenable position of being trapped between wanting to complete the process of preserving the creative output that we had produced up until now while developing and recording the new material he was continuously composing; and wondering how much more damage and stress I could withstand. Is this even worth doing at all, given that I am trying to do it with the human equivalent of antimatter?  (more…)

A lot of things have been pissing me off lately.  This is one more….  (more…)

Following Chi’s dismissal of our erstwhile producer Steven and decision to start working with another producer/musician instead, various things came up that disrupted a variety of processes that were underway.  (more…)

During the previous few weeks working with Steven, Chi, in addition to his usual insistence on having a vocalist on the album, also said that he wanted to bring in another L.A.-based musician: a highly talented string player/multi-instrumentalist with advanced production chops that he had gigged with several times in the past to play on the album and also perform with us. I had no objection since I happen to like this person very much as well as know and respect his playing. (more…)

Just as our shit was spectacularly falling apart and TPO and all its unrecorded/ unreleased music was poised to perish as collateral damage with Chi & Brenda K on the point of going down in a fireball of mutually assured destruction, an astonishing thing happened.   (more…)

What happened after the DV incident that ended our marriage  (more…)

A rundown of the final incident that ended our marriage….  (more…)

Further discussion of the impending split (more…)

As alluded to in earlier posts, Chi and I are heading towards a split.  Well…he is trying his best to continue holding me captive, but *I* am heading toward the split.  Will the Panache Orchestra be able to survive? As a close friend recently pointed out,

…it seems to take up a ton of your time, create massive amounts of stress, and is ultimately doomed.

(more…)