This is “Case Zero” in which I began to enforce the new boundaries I am building. Chi was now getting zapped as if running into electric fencing where there had been nothing before, as I got more and more committed to clearly setting my intentions and asserting my newly-developing boundaries.  (more…)

As a first step in my recovery from surviving and extricating myself from an abusive, toxic marriage, I immediately set about finding an answer to the pressing question of “How in the f*ck did I let that happen to me?!”, and its logical follow-on of “How do I stop this shit from ever happening again?”.  (more…)

The strong, stable creative phase that Chi had been in since around May 2013 was still ongoing, and this put me in the untenable position of being trapped between wanting to complete the process of preserving the creative output that we had produced up until now while developing and recording the new material he was continuously composing; and wondering how much more damage and stress I could withstand. Is this even worth doing at all, given that I am trying to do it with the human equivalent of antimatter?  (more…)

I finally “get it”… (more…)

After a decade of no viable employment for Chi and I/we were getting dangerously close to the edge of ending up homeless and bankrupt, something sustainable finally came up!  (more…)

So financial poverty really does make you stupid. Who knew? And more odd bits of recovered personal history.

It’s really not my imagination.  According to this article: http://www.theatlanticcities.com/jobs-and-economy/2013/08/how-poverty-taxes-brain/6716/

FTA:  “In a series of experiments run by researchers at Princeton, Harvard, and the University of Warwick, low-income people who were primed to think about financial problems performed poorly on a series of cognition tests, saddled with a mental load that was the equivalent of losing an entire night’s sleep. Put another way, the condition of poverty imposed a mental burden akin to losing 13 IQ points, or comparable to the cognitive difference that’s been observed between chronic alcoholics and normal adults.”

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After our run of gigs during May – June finally wound down, I rolled up my sleeves and had a go at trying to set the Salvation rig that our former producer Steven had given me back up so I could begin the process of trying to learn how to do music production/audio engineering on my own since Chi sacked Steven. What with all the new music Chi has been composing lately, I couldn’t just leave that lying on the ground and throw him out. Since we were so close to being able to do real recordings at home, that became my mission over the summer.  (more…)

Following Chi’s dismissal of our erstwhile producer Steven and decision to start working with another producer/musician instead, various things came up that disrupted a variety of processes that were underway.  (more…)

As I struggle with what and how much, if any, of this epic disaster with Chi to share with the world at large, I go around and around with the issues of what about this is “right”, “wrong”, or just a simple culture clash — good, bad or indifferent.   (more…)

Further discussion of the impending split (more…)