Just as our shit was spectacularly falling apart and TPO and all its unrecorded/ unreleased music was poised to perish as collateral damage with Chi & Brenda K on the point of going down in a fireball of mutually assured destruction, an astonishing thing happened.  

Listen while you read to “Coming or Not?”, a tense, angst-filled Gypsy-jazz-rock-fusion piece that is slated for a place on the rock album we have long wanted to record following our “10 Strings” acoustic double album.

Late February – Early March 2013

Since the vacuum created in the absence of our very long-running tradition of rehearsing our repertoire on a daily basis and the general weirdness of the situation was unbearable, we resumed our daily Panache rehearsals the week following the 19 February incident.  I also gradually went about rebuilding our communications infrastructure that Chi had trashed during that incident, and life returned to something almost like “business as usual”, except that it wasn’t.

I spent a week or two trying to navigate my way through the very complex process I was about to undertake, attempting to figure out a logical order for it and how to amass the considerable amount of funding I would need in order to execute it, since just filing the divorce petition and kick-out order would cost nearly $700 that I didn’t have, plus process service fees and additional attorneys’ fees for any assistance I may need in doing so.  Breaking down the (relatively) massive installation known as Panache House would also be a huge, expensive nightmare too, if that’s what it comes to.

In the meantime, there was Chi’s endless administrative bullshit to have to keep slogging through: the ridiculously time-consuming, high-maintenance hassle over his unemployment insurance that was a total FUBAR from Day One that of course *I* had to sort out for him; a bill from one of his numerous medical appointments/ procedures (he has medical problems in addition to his mental problems!) that I had to make a bunch of phone calls to sort out responsibility for the payment of (us or the insurance co.); a MIA payment for an acting job he did that I had to spend a lot of time chasing down to no avail since the prod.co. refused to pay, etc.  Man, I so fucking HATE this shit!  Oh, and all that while having to keep logging in and out of several different email accounts that I used to be able to access easily on my Blackberry that Chi had destroyed and that I hadn’t yet been able to replace, so I couldn’t even receive phone calls either from people who didn’t have his cell number, which is practically everyone.

Anyway, one evening when I’d finally got back to editing videos and was struggling with having to use the old 14” monitor again (it’s too small to display the whole editing screen, which is a major pain in the ass) because Chi had destroyed the nice, big, hi-res one a friend had loaned to me which greatly facilitated that task, I got a quick response to a frustrated post I’d tossed up on FaceBook from a friend of some friends I’d recently been introduced to at the last show we’d played back in December, and who had become a big fan of the Panache Orchestra since then.  He is an IT consultant and happened to have a large-ish monitor on hand that he didn’t need and offered to bring it to me.

Fast-forward through a long, late, booze-soaked Saturday night in which we discovered that we had met a very long time ago — he was the best friend of my childhood best friend’s late older brother who was my very first violin teacher, and I had been in his wedding as a flower girl along with my friend when I was 12 years old!  Chi and I played a few pieces we want to record at broadcast quality and the evening ended sometime in the wee hours with him proposing to help us record the album of our rock pieces that we’ve been wanting to do for years but couldn’t get the funding together.  It turned out that he did the production work for the band he was in with my friend’s brother so he already had the software and production chops, plus some scrap iron lying around from which he could cobble together a DAW that we could use to make the record.  We also talked about me doing some violin tracks on an album he was planning on producing from unfinished pieces he had been working on with his late friend/my former violin teacher before he passed away from brain cancer.

Wow…that was about the very last thing I was expecting: a long-lost friend to appear from out of nowhere and throw us a line to tow our crippled ship through the treacherous waters we were foundering in.  On the one hand, I obviously need to get out of this colossally fucked-up marriage before someone ends up getting killed, but on the other, I cannot leave this opportunity lying on the ground.  For reasons that are perhaps a bit difficult to comprehend, I simply must pick it up and run with it and do my absolute level damnedest to make it happen now that we are about to finally get the technical capacity in place for that to be possible.

Now this thought is so fucked up that it really shouldn’t be committed to print, but perhaps there may be a place for domestic violence somewhere in the grand scheme of things???  I mean, if Chi hadn’t attacked me and trashed my IT/telecoms infrastructure, this producer may not have stepped in to take charge and do an album for us, both to save us and our music, and the (positive) knock-on effect that set in motion would not likely have materialized….

– To Be Continued – <next>