More crazy in PanacheLand.  In a good way this time, though.  

12 June 2013

Work for Chi has been more scarce than usual this year, so we were both happy that he got booked on a TV show.  He also was successfully convinced to re-shoot an audition video for a percussion gig that he had bombed the other day, which I was relieved about, but that meant that I had to feed it to the computer and edit it, making for a late night.  I ended up getting to bed around 0200.

It was a fitful sleep, as is always the case whenever Chi has an early call time (well, 0930 is quite civilized as call times go) and I am afraid the alarm won’t go off and he’ll miss it and never get booked again, so I kept waking up.  I had a dream that someone and I were flying back from somewhere in some sort of odd aircraft that looked rather like a huge triangular flying saucer that smacked its rear end against a very tall mountain it didn’t quite clear after takeoff and started burning and then plunged into the ocean.  It was weird since the other person and I seemed to be watching this fiasco from the outside when we were supposed to be inside.  The other person assured me that it would turn out ok, so I didn’t get too frightened.

Around 6:30 a.m. the sound of someone running a vacuum cleaner made its way through the earplugs I have to sleep in (Chi used to have a horrible snoring problem, so I had to get used to sleeping in earplugs, and now I can’t sleep without them even though we live somewhere reasonably quiet now and his snoring problem has improved significantly since he quit smoking in June of 2008.) and penetrated my consciousness, waking me up.  It got closer and closer, so it was not on the other side of the wall in the neighbors’ unit on the opposite side of the house that the sound was coming from, and besides, I have never heard our neighbors vacuuming at such an idiotic time.  That meant that someone was vacuuming OUR house.  At 0630 in the morning.  WTF??!!  But who in the hell would that be?!  Chi and I were both in bed, and our house guests were gone now, and neither of them were nuts enough to do a thing like that.

Incredulous, I pried my eyes open, took out my earplugs, got out of bed and stumbled through my office room adjacent to the master bedroom and what to my wondering eyes did appear?  The Roomba® robot vacuum that Chi had bought second-hand a couple years ago that we hardly ever use because our house is so cluttered and dirty that it fills up almost instantly with kitty litter and dust/fur tumbleweeds and gets all clogged full of hair, is a dirty, messy pain in the ass to empty and detangle the brush, and it gets lost amongst all the crap our house is jammed to the rafters with, vacuuming Cat Shit Corridor.  That thing has never spontaneously gone off all by itself, so one of the cats must have decided that CSC needed to be vacuumed.  The last time Jaco peed on the wall (he has started doing that again — post about that coming), I just changed the wee-wee pad and didn’t vacuum since thankfully none of it got on the floor, necessitating a hose-down with vinegar.

I figure that Dusty (our new kitten — post about him coming soon) decided to try his little paw at vacuuming since he hadn’t come to bed with us and is at that age when helping mom with household drudge work is still fun, i.e., before it turns into a colossal pain in the ass of a swing factor in whether you get your allowance or not and critically interferes with available time to do whatever the hell children do these days when they’re not at school.  Then again, he might have just wanted a joy ride, and the vacuum cleaning may have been incidental.  I was so struck by the absurd irony of it all that I didn’t even get mad about having my already too-short night of sleep made even shorter, and actually was grateful for the housekeeping help.  I knew it couldn’t have been Laxmi since it would have scared the bejeezus out of her and she would have made an ungodly racket racing back to the bedroom in a panic, throwing doors open, diving under the bed, etc.

In any case, I shut the Roomba off and went back to bed to attempt (in vain) to salvage the remaining potential hour of sleep still available before we had to get up to get Chi ready and off to his shoot.  Jaco settled back down next to me and Gureyo next to Chi.  Laxmi was under the bed, and Dusty mewed outside the interior hallway entrance for someone to let him into the master suite since he isn’t strong enough yet to push the door open by himself.  For some reason Dusty thinks that any time he sees Jaco, it’s an appropriate time to try and tackle him, so that is what he did next.  That has been his life’s mission almost since Day 1: to take Jaco down with a flying tackle.  Anyway, Jaco got up and left in disgust with a look on his face that clearly said, “Fucking kittens!”

After Dusty eventually settled down and understood that it was still sleep time and not yet play time and I was finally drifting back to dreamland, the L.A. Ghetto Posse came roaring up and began hovering overhead.  The alarm did in fact go off at 0730 as it was supposed to, neatly coinciding with me recovering from the helicopter incursion and sinking back into sleep.  When I got up and went out to the kitchen to whip up a smoothie, I noted that the Roomba had turned itself back on and managed to find its way back to its docking station under the dining table.


For the bonus point: Due to the extra-early rout, I managed to finish editing, render and upload Chi’s audition video, but still managed to be late to the day job even though there were no unexpected (well, I really ought to expect them by now and program them into my morning routine) messes to have to deal with.  Wait a minute — there was one!  Gureyo hurled, but did it in the kitchen while I was there, so it just took a couple seconds to clean it up.  I just can’t seem to get to work on time for the life of me even though being late requires an extraordinary effort since I live a whole five minutes away!