A day in the life of Brenda K, or in case you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to promote an original musical project…. 

Listen while you read to “So Annoying”, a new track for 2010 by The Panache Orchestra

Background:  Monday evening after the day job following a previous week of unbridled hell and a super-busy, labor-intensive weekend.  We had dinner early, and I was totally knackered, sitting in TPO HQ (my home office) trying to decide which overwhelming task to prioritize the minute amount of energy I had available toward, with Jaco and Pink napping peacefully around my chair.

Chi bursts into the room with his latest brainstorm.

Chi (in Japanese – I’m not going to write the actual Japanese because if I do, then I’ll never finish this post):  “This is it!  We should go on tour to China!”

Brenda: Huh???

Chi: “Shanghai is booming!  The Chinese still have money!  We should do a tour of hotel lounges there!”

Brenda (thinking):  “what the hell have you been smoking, and more to the point, exactly WTF are you going on about?!”

Brenda (saying):  “Oooookaaaaayyyy, so I take it you have researched this thoroughly, and this brilliant idea is based on an intelligent assessment of available information, balanced with an equally intelligent and informed evaluation of how this fits into our strategy to become an economically sustainable original act operating in geographically relevant territory.”

Chi: “If you want me to understand you, speak Japanese.”

Brenda: weary sigh.

Brenda (continuing half in labored Japanese, half in exasperated English): “Well, have you done anything at all to investigate whether this is worth pursuing or not? I mean, this is your brainstorm, isn’t it, so how about if you do the research and figure it all out this time.  Start by finding and contacting other bands that have done this, ask about their experience with it, i.e., what they got paid, what the conditions were, and more importantly, what kind of music they played; and overlay the results against the million dollar question of whether it will do us any good whatsoever to get known for being a hotel lounge act in China.”

Chi: “It certainly won’t do any good to contact Chinese people in Japanese, of course!”

Brenda: “Oh, for the love of God!  Look, since this is your brain child, then you start by at least finding out if it’s something that would be worth me dropping what I’m doing, which, by the way, is based on hundreds of hours of research and is actually producing some results, to pursue this wild-ass thing instead!  Just start checking with Japanese bands and take it from there.  Also keep in mind that we’d have to figure out what to do with four cats and a tortoise, as well as rustle up someone trustworthy to look after the house while we’re gone, and that we not only have to bring in enough money to pay for day-to-day incidental costs while we’re there, but also cover our overhead here.  The only time I’ve ever heard of a lounge gig that paid that well was in Japan back in the bubble era, and you know perfectly well that those bands worked ungodly hours and had to spend every minute they weren’t on stage out in the street passing out fliers.”

Chi: “Ok…whatever….” (leaves the room)

Brenda (to myself): “Come on, give the boy a break!  After all, this time he’s actually coming in with an idea, however inviable, instead of just whining at me and/or trying to obstruct and hinder me in whatever I’m doing.”

Back to work!  (or to sleep)